My Upanayanam Story- Part 1

Before Proceeding into the ORIGINAL story I just want to elucidate my Hindi Understanding Skills which form a base for the chain of Events that has led to my Upanayanam. To begin with , I will tell you about my matriculation exam on Hindi where i Found questions very simple but answers extremely demanding,more on similar lines of questions posed by a wife to her husband who returns home at 11:00pm on first day of the month without salary.

I dont know What I wrote that day seriously, but the only answer I wrote was an essay About Gandhiji . With all due respect To Gandhiji whose name has become now a days just a Poltical Agenda rather than a role model , The only facts I know of Gandhiji by reading now a day News papers are - he is a thin Bald man always smiling on every 10 rupee note and holds a stick in every statue which acts as resting ground for pigeons.He doesnt have Winter wear and also People hail him as father of the nation. He even lowered his blood pressure by not eating salt Since 1930 [They call it Dandi March] thereby controlling his anger for nonviolence freedom struggle.I felt Even Gandhiji would have felt his Life more intresting after reading my essay.But all this consumed just 30 minutes of The examination time. The other 150 minutes, I spent writing one more question Chutti Pathr [Leave Letter] asking my school principal to grant me leave On hindi examination day as Am suffering from Diarrhea and village doctor has prescribed an ointment as cure for my loose motions. I wont tell u What I wrote in that Leave letter,for I will be banished to Tamil Realm of Srilanka Which seems to be a suitable place for Hindi Pandits like me .


Although I have clear conception about my Hindi understanding ability I often Go to hindi Films
only to keep a Status update in Facebook just to make people know that I understand Hindi. But the truth is I more or less feel like a chinese guy who sits in a theatre watching Punith Rajkumar's muvi Without Subtitles. One such Hindi film visit I did recently is to FireWay[ AgneePath] . Although I found the never aging bald Villan's Hindi poetry Quite Wise and rhyming, seriously I couldnt make head or tail out of it. My furtsration grew when the east indian ladies who sat beside me started to yell and cry whenever they see the Hero shirtless or being beaten in hands of badass.Hunger added to my frustration and Sooner the Interval came, i Rushed out to buy a Samosa. The samosa by the look of it , I can tell that Its been cooked 10 days back and since no one ate it, Its been kept as a bait to catch the rats in mutton shop. When even rats have turned down such gracious offer, The untouchable samosa has been kept in glass frame with 60 watt zero bulb shining on the price tag of it Which said 1 samosa 60 rupees. Sometimes hunger allows You to take desperate measures and My hunger Made me to buy that Samosa and rush to the theatre as the Second half has started. After having My first bite , I felt I really deserve a gallantry award for Buying that , and eating it may deserve a Nobel prize for Bravery. I threw that Junk aside not to give Sweedish Nobel Association a Scare and started staring at the second half. The gals beside me , The bald bad ass ununderstandable verses , An ugly heroine whose skinshow is only her dumb face and my Hunger made me run out from the Cinema hall Onto a Lonely street. I suddenly felt like every indian on the night of 15th August 1947 who suffering from hunger yet found independence.

I started searching for a Good samaritan who may keep his shop open after 11:00Pm in bangalore with the only idea of Feeding me. Searching for food in Bangalore at that time is like Looking for Fair complexion gals in Mechanical Engineering department in IIT chennai. Even google will give you zero results and send u Email scolding You for making such obvious futile Search. But sometimes you do find disgusting gals Beautiful when your eyes are desperate. Just like that I found a Korean Restaurant a Gate way to Heaven in the hour of Peril.The Waiter invited me and jumped in Joy of finding his first customer [Victim] of his entire day. I got scared but impressed by his hospitality.After seeing the menu , which is completely is in korean , I got a feeling that My 10th class hindi textbook, Kirchoff Voltage Laws, Theory of relativity are easy to figure out than this korean Language.After having a deep study of that benu , the waiter got enlightened by my Blank face came to my rescue. I ,with an urge to eat something thats not an animal , asked him to giive me the best in Vegitarian in that Menu. He smiled and said that All are nonveg Except a Soyabean powder in the bottom of the menu that they use to clean the plates .He coined a name to That korean Soya bean Vim bar as "TOFU"

For the first time in My life, I cursed my self being a bramhin. Why dont the so called wise bramhin sages of illustrious past never tasted atleast a boiled egg or LegPiece? I have to thank their ignorance of not realising that Plants also have life and feelings or else a Bramhin has to live his entire life taking Air as food.We would then be shown in Biology textbooks as Blue prints for Victims of MalNutrition.After hearing his words, I ordered a bowl of that powder. I sat there for 30 minutes staring at a wall hanging - a group of 10 korean people- and me trying to figureout which among the 10 are feminine gender. My analysis of Gender identification is interupted by a thud and he replied " Tofu ready" .He placed a huge bowl of some powdered Paste and two chopsticks and rushed inside . I never figured out how a living being will eat with two chopsticks. I tried to collect some detectable amount of eatable content using those sticks but My attempts are like the Indian Test team's Batting efforts.
After a 5 minute Effort , having concluded that When Indians Throw the body of spoons after their heads are broken away into bay of bengal , Koreans will collect them and use them as ChopSticks, I started eating Tofu with my hands. After having the first Gulp, I felt that all the elements in the periodic table, Especially the most disgusting ones whose chemical formula never matches to any letter in their name like Sodium [Na] ,Tungsten [ W] ,Lead [Pb] ,Iron [Fe] have been dumped into my Empty Stomach. Suddenly My stomach till then seemed like a Carbon Atom -with ever hungry Bonding capability with anything that is Single and ready to mingle Suddenly became an atom of Helium - jus like an orphan who is lonely obsolete andwho had a Love failure .But the Hunger made me eat all the adultrated past that has been present in the bowl. I got a feeling that I became River Ganges- Where Sins, Sorrows Miseries and Even Corpses are taken into it- after taking into myself the worst food of my entire life. and I paid the bill , Reached home and slept off like a lazy Log.

In the morning, When mr Tofu just started showing his Side effects on Mr river Ganges, I got a message from my Home. It just Said " Your Upanayanam is Planned on Jan 30th. If you come you will have thread marriage . If you wont, Your fragile corpse will take the honor"

To Be Continued ..........................